I've had this 18 years and I still have a hard time saying the words sometimes...
“I have Rheumatoid Arthritis”. Sometimes I don't want to just because I wish it wasn't true! It's the words that bother me.
The labels: “I am sick” “I can't keep up with you” “I am disabled” “I am not normal” “I am not well enough to do the things you do”
I think most people get nervous when they're going to a reunion. You worry that you've gained weight or that people won't recognize you. You think about whether your life will be considered "successful" in the eyes of your peers.
I mean, most of these people you haven't seen in probably 10+ years and you're worried if you're on the same level as them in life. (..As if there were really 'levels'..) It's normal to feel that way!
It can be really difficult because my normal is so different than people my age. I'm looking for treatments while they're looking at houses. They're experiencing morning sickness from pregnancy and I'm throwing up from chemo. It's definitely not easy.
I'm not beyond this kind of thinking and comparing, but I need to be.
I need to realize that just because I am disabled, it doesn't mean I'm any less than my highschool friends!
I have an amazing husband who supports me in everything I do, I have friends who are always slowing down for me, I have all these readers who are fighting alongside me! Who cares what people think?! That sounds like Success to me!